June/July 2026

      I recall praying and seeking God about a specific matter in my life.  I had come to this place after spending a great deal of time trying to figure things out on my own, and ultimately drawing no sufficient conclusion.  At this point, I had already bypassed God’s instructions to seek Him first, and that was possibly the reason why I had returned to a place of surrender. “God, I need you.  I need your help with this,” were the words I spoke to our heavenly father.  I then waited patiently for an answer.  Time passed, and still nothing.  I continued to pray, and still, I didn’t hear anything.  During my waiting, I would soon drift and even forget about what I had asked God for.

     As time passed, what I had asked God for help with was now being handled by me, or at least I thought so.  While patiently waiting for God to answer my prayer, I lost patience and jumped into the driver's seat of my life, and got nowhere.  Using my own instinct, I thought that I was working things out.  I was still praying every day, still living in obedience to the word of God (to some degree), and I was doing.  Well, that strategy didn’t go well, and eventually I found myself back at the same place I started, and with more regret.  While God’s grace prevented me from enduring calamity and total destruction, my poor decision of moving without Him did come with consequences.  

     In the bible, God’s word had already provided me with instructions on how to live: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33 (NLT).  I did seek God first, but I didn’t wait for Him to answer.  Because He loves me, even when I journeyed out and busied myself with my own reasoning, His grace kept me.  Because God loves me, I was allowed to endure the consequences of my poor decisions, but He even allowed them to work out for my good.  

     I have learned that sometimes when I don’t give God the opportunity to answer my prayers, He will allow experience to teach me.  As a young boy, my mama told me that a hard head makes a soft bottom. I thought it only applied to when I was her little boy, but it didn’t.  As grown as I am today, I will always be God’s child, and because it’s in my nature to be hard headed on occasion, I appreciate the covering He continues to provide through experience.  With a heart full of appreciation, I strive each day to become the vessel that God designed me to be.