CHAPTER NINE:

     For the caregivers following the “Becoming A Caregiver” series, my heart continues to go out to you.  The assignment is not an easy one.  Even more, regardless of any arrangement, when you are committed to ensuring that your loved one gets and receives the highest quality of care and attention, there isn’t much that will get in the way of your goal to see it happen.  Any who, I am speaking for myself, and that is how I feel.

     One of the most disheartening feelings I have experienced along this journey always happens when I arrive to visit my mom while she is in the care of others.  As her primary caregiver for over eight years, I have a pretty good understanding of what good care looks like.  I also know what slack and neglect look like.  

     While my mother is under my care, it has always been my goal to meet her needs first and always before mine.  When she is thirsty, hungry, uncomfortable, or whatever else, I make it my goal to meet her need before it becomes a need.  Anytime when I fall a little behind on my assignments, it becomes obvious, and Mama never hesitates to let me know that I am slacking.  

     With that said, as our family has depended on the assistance of others to provide care for my mother, finding consistency between caregivers has been very challenging.  I believe it has a lot to do with how a person approaches their job.  I believe that it also has a lot to do with how people feel about them.  If you truly love yourself and love people, then that same level of compassion will show up with caregiving.  If someone lacks compassion, they should never work in a customer service-dependent field like caregiving.  Furthermore, if they lack professionalism, cleanliness, good time management skills, and good attention to detail, then caregiving is not for them as well.  That is just my opinion.

     Seeking the assistance of others to provide caregiving services for my mother was one the hardest decisions I have made since she suffered her stroke.  While she may encounter dozens of individuals on a daily basis, there always seem to be about two or three that exhibit all of the above-mentioned qualities.  I wish that I could say that it gets easier with each passing day, but to be honest, it doesn’t.  For me, I find hope in being just as committed to caring for my mother today as I was when I first began this journey.  I make my concerns and expectations known, and my Mama and I work together by trusting God.