CHAPTER ELEVEN:

     I could count each day since the day of my mother’s stroke experience.  As life-changing as it was, the entire experience of becoming her caregiver has transformed the lives of each one of her family members.  For me, it has shown me how to love someone from a different perspective.  

     Like most kids, when we are young and totally dependent on the care and needs of our parents, the thought of ever losing them is unimaginable and, in some ways, frightening.  The person who fed me, cleaned, and wiped the dirt and gooey stuff from my face and nose; the one who taught me and corrected and caressed all of my bumps and bruises; as a child, I could never fathom the idea of losing them.  However, as an adult, that is a part of life that I have grown to understand.  The natural course of life requires children to care for their aging and dependent parents.  It also requires us to prepare our hearts and minds for an eventual separation.  Over the last nine years, I have appreciated each opportunity that God has blessed me with to be there for my mother.  Whether it be caring for her in my home, taking her to doctor appointments, going to the hair salon, going out to dinner, or going to a baby shower or funeral, I have enjoyed each experience.  

     I remember one Sunday, I decided to take Mom on a road trip.  After getting her into my two-seater sports car, which wasn’t very roomy, we made our way down the highway to Charlotte, NC, to a soul food restaurant.  My mom and I have always liked livers and onions, and that particular restaurant had a delicious serving, among many other tasteful entrees.  What I enjoyed most about the ride was sharing laughs with her along the way.  I was also pleased to see her enjoy the ride and point out specific landmarks along the highway.  Even before her stroke, Mom always enjoyed road trips, and seeing her actively participate in this one provided me with some hope and a breath of fresh air.  We ate our food in the parking lot of the restaurant, and by the time we headed back home, Mom was, of course, asleep.  That was a great day for us.

     Today, while I am not caring for my mother in my home, I honestly feel that the love connection between her and all of my family is very much intact.  I believe that she knows that we are doing the best with what God has provided.  The opportunity to be constant, available, and present, whether in person or by telephone, helps keep our connections relevant.  

     One thing for sure is that while becoming a caregiver for my mother started the day of her stroke experience, it didn’t end with the acquisition of additional assistance outside of my home.  Honestly, it instified.  She continues to have the same needs and to ensure they are being met, the consistent presence of our family is required.  The care and support that we provide comes from our hearts.  So, no matter where my mother calls home, home is where the heart dwells.

     This is my story of becoming a caregiver to my mother.